This is it!

The moment we've been waiting for for the past 13 months... Micah's first real Christmas. With his new family. Celebrating Christ, enjoying the thrill of Santa and presents, baking cookies, decorating the tree and house, and spending time with friends and extended family. Traditions being born in his little heart; well really his great big heart! He is the most joyous three year old I've ever seen!

Last year, it had been almost two months since our committment to adopt him, and all we could think was, "I wish Micah were here already." We were sad that he had to spend another lonely Christmas and winter in an orphanage, not even knowing what real love was all about.

Last year, this is the only thing we had:


We had no idea what he looked like at that moment, 6 months after that photo was taken. We had no idea what he was like, his personality, liked, dislikes. We had no idea about his complete health history or what his needs might be when he came home. We had no idea who we'd be bringing home.

But now...


We know all about this special boy. And what joy he brings to everyone in our family. He loves to dance and sing. He loves to help around the house:


He loves to play with his siblings:


He loves eating lots of good food (this was Thanksgiving):


And sleeping in his cozy bed in his cozy room, with HIS blankets, and HIS stuffed animals:


There's not much more we could have hoped or wished for in this wonderful boy. We thank God for him every day. We are so very blessed to be his parents. We are thankful he gets to know what Christmas is all about, and a family to teach him all the wonderful things in life.

When we saw Micah's picture last November, we just prayed he would find a family. Within a matter of days, we knew we were that family. What a leap of faith! Some people thought we were crazy (and some probably still do!), but we knew God led us to him and that this was all His master plan. God loves the orphans and wants them all to know the love a family and Christ.

So, during this special Christmas that we cherish for our family, may you all be equally as blessed and remember to hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight.

And if you feel so led to take a leap of faith and become an orphan's family, please visit reecesrainbow.org and see all the beautiful children that need a home. If you can't adopt, please consider sponsoring a child and putting them on your prayer list. They all need our help, in whatever capacity we can give.

We are sponsoring and praying for "Aaron" right now, the little boy that was given to us last May in what some would call "error", but we know even that hiccup was part of God's plan to help him find a family. We are so happy for him and his new parents, David and Melissa Chellson. They will be traveling to get him very, very soon (most likely February). Even though this is his last Christmas in the orphanage, I know he will be in the same situation Micah is in right now at this time next year! With a family full of love; just what every child deserves.

Barry with "Aaron" (Misha) and Annie in Ukraine... we are so happy we get to be called the surrogate Aunt and Uncle for this sweetie :) We love the Chellson's!


Melissa (Misha's mom), Camilla (his grandma), and Ryan (his brother).

Merry Christmas Eve!
~Barry and Shelly

Looking back on 2010 and 2011

The past couple years I haven't sent out our Christmas letter, so I thought I would do it on my blog instead. That way I won't leave anyone out on the mailing list :) And this is a much much longer "letter" than I would ever send through USPS. Don't yawn too much.

Dear Family and Friends,
2010 and 2011 have proven to be two of the busiest and most exciting years yet!

Barry graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Public Administration in May 2010. In October 2010, he was promoted and settled nicely in his new position for the United States Marine Corps office in Yermo, Ca. Luckily his hours didn't change and he still gets to be home with us every other Friday, in addition to every weekend and holiday.

I have kept very busy as a domestic engineer (think about it for a second). It has been such a blessing to be able to "work" at home with our children. Although I am classified as a stay-at-home mom, I spend many hours of my days in our Suburban :) I jokingly say that I work 24/7, have no days off and no breaks, and I don't even get paid for it, but I know that the blessings and rewards are there every day and will continue throughout our lives. I am enjoying it very much and know how lucky I am to have the option to be home to raise our children. I do not wish at all for the day when the kids are grown and gone. I will miss their noises, footsteps, and handprints all over everything. I will miss their giggles, hugs, and funny moments. I will even miss their fighting!

I am also still working diligently on my Bachelor of Science degree in Criminal Justice (emphasis in CSI) again after a six month break early in 2011. I am 2/3 of the way done and can't wait until I have that paper in my hands someday!

Fischer is a senior and is counting down the days until graduation. He had his first job over the summer and got his driver license! He was very busy from August to December as a leader and member of Rattlesnake Regiment, the marching band at his high school. They made it to championships again this year, and placed 7th out of the twelve best schools in Southern California! Fischer marched trombone, and also plays guitar and bass guitar in the school's jazz band. He is considering learning saxophone for the concert season. His musical talents and abilities continue to amaze me every day. He is also working very hard in his classes these days, two of which are at the AP level! He is such a wonderful, loving, and helpful young man, and we are so blessed to have him in our family.

Gracie is turning six in 16 days! She started Kindergarten this year at our local public school, but we decided to switch to homeschooling October 5th. Homeschooling was something Barry and I decided we should do earlier in the year, but I doubted my adequacy and chickened out. After visting her classroom a couple times, I quickly realized that I had covered the subjects she was learning last year in preschool, and enrolled her through a homeschool Charter school so she could learn more subjects that she didn't yet know, and for many other reasons. We make sure to keep her busy in social activities so she can keep her friendships and be involved in the community. We have met several other homeschooling families, fifteen of which we went on a field trip with in October. The great thing is that the Charter tracks her attendance and work to make sure we are covering state standards. It also pays for all her curriculum and some extra-curricular activities if she wishes. It has been an amazing and eye-opening experience; one that I cherish and love and have NO regrets over. Barry even gets to count all his teaching moments with her every day. The flexibility in our schedule is awesome, she is learning things that she wouldn't learn at school (at least in a California Kindergarten classroom), and I'm learning things right along with her (like winter holidays in other religions)! She has started reading and finds joy in all the subjects of school, especially math and art. She is eager to learn every day, and asks to "do school" on weekends and holidays. She is a true joy to our family and has the brightest eyes ever!

Chloe just turned four. I still can't believe it. She is growing up so fast and strives to do everything her big sister does. She was in gymnastics for a year but recently decided she was no longer interested. She is in preschool now at home after being in a community group for a few months. It was two hours twice a week and the times became a conflict with Micah's school schedule, so we talked to her and she was thrilled to do school at home too! She loves that she can do school everyday and not just two days a week. She is eager to learn just like Gracie. They both look forward to learning time every day. Chloe is a spitfire full of energy and a huge laugh. She brings a lot of life to our crazy family.

As most of you know, we added one more little love to our family by adoption. We found Micah through Reece's Rainbow on November 5, 2010, and he came home with me on July 6, 2011 after 8 months of my "paper pregnancy". (We went to Ukraine! It was awesome!!!) Micah has grown and thrived so much in just over five months. During one of his recent evaluations, the doctor said he is absolutely amazed how much Micah has learned to understand in just five months with our family, especially with a new language. You see, our special boy has an extra chromosome that labels him as "special needs"; however, several professionals have said they have very high hopes for his learning abilities, and that his "mild mental retardation" may not even be diagnosed as such as time goes on. I was very suprised to hear that, but nonetheless he is our new pride and joy, and brings so much happiness to our big family. His smile lights up the world and his happiness is contagious. He is finally starting to babble some understandable words, most of which nobody else would get (typical for a toddler). He is three, and his birthday falls just five months after Chloe's. He started preschool through our county's special ed program just a couple weeks ago, and is doing really well. He goes five half-days a week by bus and seems to enjoy the new routine in his day. Tonight while reading a book, he pointed at the apple when I asked, and he repeated "boy" when we pointed at the boy. I am seeing changes in him every day, and it's such a wonderful experience to have this perfect spirit in our home.

Our sweet Annie just turned two in September. As the baby of the family, she is pretty spoiled, but I just can't get enough of her snuggles, hugs, kisses, and giggles. She is a world travler, going with us to Ukraine this summer! She is talking so much, repeats EVERYTHING everyone says, and is making almost-complete sentences. Today I asked her to give me the green marker and she picked the right one! I guess having older siblings is a huge advantage to the learning experience. She continues to surprise me on a daily basis. Oh and she's now throwing tantrums. It takes everything in me not to laugh at her. Gosh I love that little girl!

All the girls love on their new brother so much, and Micah is following the pack and doing everything they do. It is unbelievable the transformation happening with all of them right before our eyes. The love they have for each other melts my heart. The inclusion, sharing, singing, teaching, etc. that they do with each other makes me so proud. And of course, they all look up to Fischer and ask about him everyday. Annie asks every morning, "Is Fischer at school?" When I answer yes, she responds sadly, "Oh." And they are so excited when he walks through the door.

After losing our first house in 2008 and renting the past three years, we were able to buy a new home this year! Well, new to us! :) We were able to find a repo in really good condition (and an unbeatable price) on 2 1/2 acres in the community of Oak Hills. We closed September 30 and moved in on October 2. It is the perfect home and location for us, and I honestly could not imagine being any happier. Our new church family has welcomed us with open arms and we are quickly making new friends. After roaming for so long, we are definitely "home" now. We will raise our kids in this home, and I vow that I will be here until I die.

Then there are the dogs...
Barry brought home Biscuit in May 2010. He was a puppy at the time and we've had a lot of interesting changes with him since then, but this Beagle is happy in our family and new home, and has been a wonderful dog for us.

November 5, 2011 our sweet Abby (our mini-schnauzer) went missing. I still get weak in the heart when I think about her. She was the best dog I've ever had, even throughout childhood. She was born four months after Chloe, and we've had her since the day she was born in our living room. The girls pray every night that she will come home soon (and I do too), but it's hard to deny that she most likely won't be coming back. I guess one of the perils of country living is that there are a lot of coyotes around here, and dogs often disappear :( Ugh :/

A few weeks ago when we were looking for Abby at all the shelters, we were at the very last one and she wasn't there either. I suddenly decided we should bring home a new dog. Biscuit was depressed... well we all were. Chloe picked out a cute Chihuahua and we brought her home. Although she attached to me and Fischer very quickly, she did NOT like Barry or anyone else that came around our house, and she snipped at the littles if they bothered her or got too close. This is very common with these dogs, and had I researched Chihuahuas before going, I never would have brought her home. It ached me to take her back to the pound, but they had an exchange policy so we could get a dog that better suited our family. I felt like crap taking her back and cried, but I new it was the best thing to do with our small kids.

We decided to look around at another shelter since the options were very slim at that one, and Annie picked a mini-poodle. "A poodle? Really Mom?" was Fischer's reaction. Yes, a poodle. I wanted the female Lab that showed signs of training and good behavior, but the rest of the family wanted a small lap dog. Insert thought: I wonder if I'll ever get a Lab? We took the poodle to the "Get Acquainted" room (yes, there is such a thing), and he seemed pretty good around everyone. Barry did the "pull" test the technician told him to do (where he yanked on his ears and tail and pretty much did what the kids would be doing later to see how he reacted). It didn't even phase him. So we left and went to lunch. I researched poodles on my Droid and learned they are the 2nd smartest breed of dog and good with kids. I tried to find a reason not to take him home (just because I wanted the Lab), but I gave in to everyone's begging.

We brought him home on Monday and named him Jack. I took him to our vet today and she said we picked a good dog. He's healthy, has good skin and coat, and has a good temperament. That helped me relax a little. I taught him "sit" in just two days. We are leash-training him since he wants to spray every corner he finds :/ Why do we get male dogs? I hate boy dogs! LOL. Really, I love Biscuit so much, and Jack will grow on me. He's a sweet dog and let me brush him tonight without too much fuss. As long as we take him out to pee on the ground and not other things, and exercise him 4-5 times a day, he's fine. We bring him out of his "space" (the laundry room) to hang out with us on the couch, and we pet him every time we come and go through the garage. So he seems happy and everyone else is happy, so I guess he's a keeper :)

I think that about covers everything. We are all happy and healthy, and wish the same to all of you. May 2012 be prosperous for everyone, and full of happiness and laughter.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Love,
The Ray Family

Precious Moments

I've been contemplating exactly how to write this post. Honestly, it's hard to be so open and raw with difficult feelings on a public blog. But I want to write how I'm feeling in case it might help other adopting families, or those who might be considering it.

It's not all roses all the time. Adjusting can be hard. For the child and for the family... in this particular case the momma.

You see, Barry attached right away. And Fischer and the girls did too. And I loved Micah right away, but attachment was harder for me. I don't know why. I can't explain any of it really other than I was struggling a bit. It wasn't like the proverbial daycare child syndrome that some describe... there just wasn't a strong connection like I thought there would be. And I was upset with myself for feeling that way, especially after working so hard to bring him home.

It might have had something to do with the fact that we had family unexpectedly move in with us soon after we got home, so I didn't really have time to adjust. If we had just brought home a newborn, we might have even told the family NO! And they stayed with us for three months when we thought they were only staying two weeks. This post is not about that... it all worked out fine and we're back to normal. But I'm sure that change so soon after bringing Micah home had a lot to do with my emotions and settling or attaching with Micah.

Another factor I considered is that a lot of changes occurred soon after we brought him home: we were house searching, the kids were starting school, then we moved, then I decided to homeschool Gracie like I had wanted to all along, then I started back to school. WOW!

Maybe my lack of ability to attach had to do with all my stressors in life. (All good, but still stressors nonetheless).

Then I had some other ideas the past few weeks that started to click for me. I was considering that it was because he was three and not a baby. I missed so much of his life that I wasn't able to have those precious moments with him.

If you have ever adopted, or maybe it's just with an older child, you might know what I'm talking about. We never bonded! I mean we bonded in some ways, but not quite the same mother-child bonding that occurs with a newborn. I honestly don't think it had anything to do with the fact that he wasn't my birth child... just that we didn't get to bond from early in his life.

I will guiltily (is that even a word?) say that when Micah started preschool this week, I was secretly relieved that I would get a small break each day. Go ahead and judge me, but be honest with yourself that you've had those same feelings with all your kids after a long summer home with them and they suddenly go back to school. SIGH of relief right? It was like that. I wasn't glad he was gone, but glad that I could just relax a bit and not constantly be wondering where he was in the house and what he was getting into at any particular moment. I was able to get things done.

INSERT: Oh did I leave out the fact that this sweet boy is the most active child I've ever known in my life? He never stops until he's sleeping! And he's happy all the time, but extremely active and can be quite vocal as well.

Anyway... back to my point. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was feeling somewhat relieved for my small break each day. Then when he would get home, I was so excited to see him! I had missed him! I was so happy to have those feelings. You see, in four and a half months, he hadn't left my side except for some date nights and the weekend I went to Arizona, but that was a break from all the kids. But Micah had never left ME. See the difference?

Okay, so go to yesterday. He was in the middle of a nap when he suddenly woke up screaming. I ran to his room and discovered a nasty surprise. So I got him up and changed his diaper, all the while he was peacefully sleeping! After changing him, I scooped him up and held him. He stayed asleep. He molded into my arms. We were actually cuddling (unbeknownst to him). I held him so tightly and rocked him. I looked at his sweet face and started crying. I saw him as an infant. A baby. I was bonding with him! Oh sweet Jesus, thank you!

And now I am crying again. I love that little boy so much. I know that he was born into this world and meant for our family even though he was born into another. There is no doubt about that.

Then he woke up and it was like a light switch... instantly ready to go. But he hestitated and wanted to be with me. He was jealous that Annie wanted to sit in my lap and whined at her. When I moved her and took him in my lap, he would giggle. We sang songs, wrestled a bit, I gave him great big hugs & kisses, and put my cheek to his, and he let me! We put on Christmas music and danced and sang some more. It was like I imagined life to be with him.

And I may be imagining things, but he was trying so hard to talk to me, communicate with me, using babbles to try to get words out, making eye contact, smiling, and laughing. Most of that is normal, but it was like he was trying harder. Most likely it was the other way around.

I had some precious moments with him I so desperately needed. I am so grateful.

Like my mother-in-law said yesterday, "God was smiling down upon you the day you found his picture." She is SO right! God destined him to be with us, and us with him. We are all so blessed.

Wrapped in the arms of His love

We're settling nicely into our new home and community. It has really been a blessing to be in this new place with space around us; we absolutely love it!  Almost every time we have moved, we have changed wards in our church, and this time was no exception. I was nervous because I only knew one person a little bit and we were also changing stakes, so it was likely I wouldn't see many people I knew at bigger functions either. But, we jumped right in, and I realized I actually knew three people! :)  I have never moved right into a ward and felt at home, NEVER. When I was baptized, I felt at home and loved that ward, but since I left Turlock, it has always taken a while to find our place and get to know people (at least a year). So I thought this would be the same.

Well, I was wrong. We feel right at home, have made some amazing friends, and have already been asked and participated in the taping of our Christmas play. I cannot begin to tell you how comfortable I feel as we continue on this new journey of being homeowners again, in a new community, and in a new ward. I feel so much peace and happiness it's like I'm finally "home" after all these years of leaving my hometown.

There has been so many changes over the past six years... babies, miscarriages, moves, job changes and losses, traveling to a new country, and adopting.  Just now, at the end of 2011 do I finally feel settled. It's a great feeling. I really hope this feeling lasts for a while :)

During this time of year, I think more about everything I have so much to be grateful for.  I'm surrounded by so much beauty, and my wonderful children and husband, and there is nothing we need or want. I really miss my family in the Turlock area, but I know we will be here for a very long time.  At one time I had hoped to leave California all together, or possibly move closer to my family, but now I know that I am right where I'm supposed to be. And I'm so very happy.

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows our needs, and grants our desires from time to time :) I love being wrapped in His arms when I need it the most, and comforted when I feel unsure about things. It is so wonderful to be a daughter of God!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope this year has treated you as well as it has our family. Love and blessings!

Four months!

November 5, 2010 forever changed our hearts when we committed to adopting Micah, and July 6, 2011 forever changed our lives, as he was finally home with us! We could never have imagined what this little guy would really be like, but he has captured all of our hearts forever.

It's hard to believe that I de-boarded a 15 hour flight (17 hour total trip time) with Micah exactly four months ago today. We exited that last plane in Las Vegas, NV to our waiting family. I hadn't seen them in about two weeks, and it was very emotional to reunite with all of them. It was Fischer's, Gracie's, and Chloe's first time meeting Micah face-to-face. They had American flags waving and signs welcoming him home. We had just missed Independence Day two days prior, so it was our time to celebrate!

HOME. That is a word we use casually every day. To Micah, the only home he ever knew was the orphanage for the first three years of his life. He had never even been in a car (that he remembered). He had the same schedule every day, day in and day out. The same four walls of his "room" shared with over ten other children. Rotating nannies on rotating shifts. The music room each day. And the hut outside and surrounding walkways. But oh how he would run to those locked gates and shake them, as he would watch the cars go by.  I wondered what he was thinking. And I promised to let him out of those gates one day. May 27-July 1 we spent in Micah's original home.



May 27, 2011. Berizka Orphanage. Kyiv, Ukraine.

Now he's in our home. Forever! He has his own private room, adjacent to his sisters'. He has his own mommy and daddy for the first time in his life. He gets to ride in the car almost every day. He gets to feed himself and drink out of his own cup instead of being fed out of a community bowl and cup. He knows how to use a fork, spoon, and cup! He knows where his chair is at the table, and understands almost all the repeated daily commands. He uses some sign language, and he makes a lot of noise, especially when he's singing :) But he still does not use English words regularly. He tries, but they just don't come out clearly. We are almost at the point where he can go to the County Preschool and get speech therapy. Just a few more weeks is what we are told.


October 29, 2011. Wrightwood, CA
Yellow Canary Photography.

But having trouble communicating he does not have! :)  We know his sounds and body language. We know his routine, and vice versa. He is a joy! He loves hugs and kisses. He loves running, tagging, or tackling. He loves hide and seek and peek-a-boo. He is so much FUN. Laughing and giggling all day long.  He loves his sisters and brother, and even the dogs! He has so much energy it's unbelievable. And dare I not take my eyes off him or he'll be halfway to Timbuktu! :) He is learning safe boundaries and knows to hold my hand after getting out of the car now wherever we are. He listens when I say (or frantically yell), "STOP!" And the 2 1/2 acres we have for him to spread out and run is a gift from God.  He sleeps well at night (well we all do)!

Does he understand English? YES!!!! He understands almost everything we say now. And don't let him fool you when he stares blankly at you after you tell him something he does not want to hear! He'll have you thinking he doesn't understand, but after the fifth day in a row of far-away eyes when you tell him to get out of the bathtub (which is his favorite pasttime now), you get the drift that he's playing you ;) He's a smart cookie. Unbelievably smart. And he has come so far in such a short amount of time. He loves on his siblings and interacts well with them every day, and he knows them by name. "Give Chloe a kiss..." and he'll go to her. "Where's Fischer?" and he points. Annie still thinks she's his favorite though ;) Once he starts speaking, it will be all over!

Attachment issues? You know, honestly, we never even gave this a second thought. We heard a lot about attachment disorders and issues in kids who were orphans. We were warned about doing things a certain way. But in our big family, we have activities every day where we have to go, go, go. We never had down time to just relax and adjust. But our bonding happened nonetheless. He knows we are his mama and daddy, and he looks for us. He follows us everywhere at home. He knows his sisters and brother. And he has even bonded with his uncle who has lived with us for the past few months. He will go to people and give them hugs, but there are times when he only wants us. And his familiarity with us is obvious. He prefers us, he smiles bigger with us, etc. We just didn't really give the attachment issue any power over how we do things in our family, because it would have consumed us. We treated him like all our other kids right off the bat, and he has adjusted like he's been with us since the beginning.  It's not to say he doesn't have meltdowns when the day has been too long, but what three year old doesn't?  There are days he'll just sit and cry and we don't know why, but he lets us console him. And he looks for us to do that! If he falls, he comes looking for me or Barry right away and stops crying instantly when we pick him up. He is so very comfortable in his life with us. Maybe we are one of the lucky ones, but I still say that he was predestined to be in our family, and I think even he knew it, as we had asked and prayed for.  Call me crazy, but I believe our great big God can do anything, even over continents. And I also think He has power over the families who adopt to choose the child(ren) that were meant for them and their situations!

Micah. October 29, 2011.
Yellow Canary Photography.

A couple weeks ago, I was so blessed to get a baby picture of Micah from my friend, Sherry White, who was with me at end of my stay in Ukraine. It made me smile, and it made me sad. I was sad because I don't have pictures of him like I do my other kids. There are three years of his life that are just missing. We don't have the pictures, we don't have the background, and we don't have the memories, bonding, or time! It has made me think a lot of his past. When I go to cuddle with him and he doesn't know how to form into my body and just is kind of stiff in the hold, it saddens me. It saddens me that I didn't get to rock him like my babies. He loves it when I hold him and rock him, but he just doesn't mold into me like my original four did and still do. I wonder if that will ever change. I hope so. He's a very affectionate little boy, full of life and wonder. He loves to be loved on each day. And he gets plenty of it!

We are so lucky and blessed. I know some say he is the lucky one, but I think it is us who is far more fortunate to be gifted by one of God's chosen sons. A son of God. Little Micah. What a miracle to go through this journey with and for him. Who would have thought we would travel across the world one day to adopt a little boy? But we did! And here we all are now: HOME! :)

Unbelievable! :) Gives me chills to look back at just six months ago in his country. We loved it there, and while it was hard in the moment, we miss it so much. It is great to watch the new families going to get their babies after us. We pray for them all. For safe journeys, for successful court dates, for bonding with their babies, for protection and love from our Savior in heaven, and for going HOME as a family :)

Micah's 1st Halloween...

... and the first Annie got to enjoy learning about collecting candy! :)  Tonight was our ward Halloween party and trunk-or-treat, and all the littles were Superman and Supergirl.  Micah had a ball.  All the girls did too, but as usual, Gracie was camera-shy. She did enjoy getting her costume on though ;)



I love this picture of Chloe!

 



Me and my little superhero ;)



Surrounded by superheros :) I love my girls!

Look at my digs, Daddy!

Checking out the loot.



1st candy of Halloween 2011



Moving on...

Moving on... from moving.  The past week we have been moving, and moving, and moving. When Barry's brother said he had access to a 20 ft trailer for the week and lots of friends to help us move, we jumped on it. Probably a little too soon. We weren't ready a week early; we weren't packed hardly at all. We made at least five trips over the whole week, packing and moving.  We have been so grateful for Joey and his friends helping us, and are so glad we don't have to make any more trips! Barry and I went up and cleaned the house today, and turned in a key to the realtor so he can start showing it to potential renters.

Moving on... into home ownership. We've been in our new house for a week! We love it.  All the big stuff got moved in last Sunday, which was the first night we slept here.  The week has been busy with contractors in and out (first the plumber to unclog the kitchen sink, then Direct TV, Wisprenn (internet), Proflame (propane), and an alarm company). The kids have spent a lot of time outside running, riding bikes and scooters, and running some more.  The only thing running more is the dogs who are thoroughly enjoying their space here as well.  There is so much space on 2 1/2 acres.  I don't know why we didn't do this sooner :) Being in a one-story house again is such a blessing.  We are all on one level and no longer have to do the "stomp-method" for getting the attention of those in the basement :) I do have to say we will greatly miss the mountains though.  It's good we are only 20 minutes away so we can go up and visit often.

Moving on... to homeschooling. Anyone who knows us or who has read our blog for a while knows we've been debating the public school vs. homeschool issue for our kindergartener. At one point, we were completely set on homeschooling without reservation.  Then I started doubting myself and abilities, time constraints, organization skills, etc., especially so soon after bringing Micah home. In July, I thought there was no way I could juggle it all, so I enrolled her in public school. Her teacher was great. She adjusted quickly, and was making friends.  Overall, it was a good situation.  However, after volunteering a couple times (both Barry and I), we were reminded of some of the reasons why we had decided to homeschool. We talked, we prayed, and we researched. Then we met with a local Charter homeschool, and decided to go with it. It's been a couple weeks, and I love the freedom and flexibilities homeschooling provides, and the opportunity I have to teach my child all she learns, being there for all the milestones and moments of realization. I know there are many critics of homeschooling, but after researching the facts and praying, this is the best thing we could ever do.  And when it's all said and done, all of our reasons are simply that. Our reasons. They are probably similar to the reasons other people have for homeschooling.  But in my heart of hearts, I know that homeschooling is the best thing for our family.

I won't be the perfect teacher; I will make mistakes; I won't be a pro on everything I teach her, but really who will?  In our declining educational system, I can't do any worse than what she'll get in a classroom (absolutely no offense to the teachers). Teachers are required to teach what will be covered on mandatory state testing. The budget cuts have drastically affected every classroom. The time and funds aren't there to allow them to be as creative as they used to be.  The California students I know who have moved out of state recently are scoring far below what they should be in comparison to other states' schools, even when they were acing subjects here! The time we will save by teaching one-on-one allows us the flexibility to teach everywhere: the store, bank, library, museum, park, home, car, etc. Life is our classroom! Yes, we will be teaching the same subjects, but there will be a budget provided by the Charter school for art, music, and other fun activities... she will get to do more in the homeschool setting than the public school system for sure. And socialization is not an issue with all these activities, plus church!

Of course, Fischer will finish his senior year in public school, and it has been the best thing for him. I have no regrets putting him through public school, and am so happy that he has done so well. Micah will also begin his school career in public education, getting the therapies and help he needs. As he gets older and progresses, that may change in the future, but for now we are confident with the services public school can provide for his needs (although we know they have to be provided whether in public school or not). 

I am so blessed to be surrounded by a large group of homeschooling moms, including those new to the ropes, those who have done it, and those who have been homeschooled themselves. In addition, the support I will get from the Charter school will keep us on track for what we should be learning/teaching.  So, while I do support our local public schools, especially those in our school district... and while I know there are advocates for public school and homeschool... it really comes down to what we think is best for our kids.  Nobody knows them and their needs better than we do.  There are always opinions and advice for everything, even how to lie them down at night when they're babies... but in the end it is our decision and our responsibility to choose what's best for our kids.

Moving on... in our life with Micah. This boy is amazing. He is so sweet and has the greatest personality ever.  He's been home three months already! All the kids have adjusted wonderfully. Things have settled down into somewhat of a routine, and will continue to get easier and more refined as time goes on.

Moving on... from an extended family. Barry's brother and his boys will be going back to Texas soon (as long as the judge is in a good mood next week), and our house will look somewhat "normal" again as we shrink from 10 to 7 again.  We will miss them a lot, but it will be good for all of us to get back to our families as they should be. Pray for a good outcome on the 21st!

Moving on.  Isn't life continously in motion?  We are all moving forward from one thing to another.  I pray as we all endure changes, ups, and downs that we will all be mindful of our many blessings, and remember to thank the One who is always there for us.

~Shelly

Psychologist's Assessment

The meeting went so well yesterday. I am really impressed with our special services department in our school district. I absolutely love the ladies we have met with so far. They have shown great interest in Micah and getting him help as soon as possible. They love the story of how we found him through Reece's Rainbow and brought him home. It has warmed my heart to have their kindness and support for him.


I loved watching the psychologist with him yesterday. She got down on the floor and played with him. This was part of her assessment to see how he responded when she asked him to do different things. She was a lot of fun to be around. When it was all said and done, she said, "I would place him around 18 months (mentally)." I was not surprised. This is what I have been saying for months. However, she was extremely impressed with his high functionality (including understanding instructions and responding), and physical movement (including his coordination and reaction to things). She was so confident that he could go into a regular classroom for kindergarten if we wanted him to (in two years). I told her, "We want him to have all the possibilities available to him, and don't want to hold him back, but we'll see when we get there :)"

It was a great day. Now we wait for his first IEP with our school district and subsequent referral to County. Then we'll have an IEP with County to cover all his needs, including free door-to-door transportation (our district has charged for bussing for two years)! So, he *should* be starting preschool in the next 3-4 weeks. We are very excited for this opportunity for him to get educational help and different therapies, including speech. Until then, we are practicing a lot of what the speech therapist taught us, and he is responding well.

Speech assessment

Micah had a speech assessment with our school district last Friday. It went really well. The district nurse also evaluated him. The speech therapist said that he will have to be evaluated by the school psychologist, then we'll have our first IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting, then he'll be referred to County for preschool.  She said it should only take about 2-3 more weeks.

Today is the appointment with the psychologist. I'm not really sure what to expect, nor am I sure when to expect the IEP to be. Thankfully though, things are moving along!

Lemishine (cleaning tip!)

After almost two years of living with hard water, I had given up. Nothing worked to get those murky stains out but a vinegar soak, and that is just so time-consuming... and smelly! When we had company I would PROMISE them our dishes were clean, lol... so embarrassing! Not anymore!

Thank goodness for my Mom to Mom group. I would have never known. I'm really surprised more friends didn't know about this (because we ALL complain about hard water stains to each other).  So I'm sharing it with everyone!!!

On the left is one of my dishes that has been washed over and over in my dishwasher (with soap!)  On the right is an identical dish after one wash with Lemishine. I sound like a commercial ad, but I'm serious. This is not a joke. When I heard about it, I jumped and asked, "Where do you get it?!" As I'm sure you're doing right now! HAHA... Target (and probably Walmart).  It's near the detergents with some other hard water stain lifters... I honestly didn't even know such things existed.  I went the next day and bought two with confidence. 

Not only are my dishes looking shiny and new again, but my stainless steel dishwasher looks new again! I can almost see my reflection.  It's a beautiful thing (the shiny part).  The first day I opened the dishwasher, I sang that angelic "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound and couldn't stop staring.  I called Barry and Fischer over to see too... "Look! My tupperware is colorful again!" Everything looks new.  It's seriously a miracle.

Hope this tip helps!

Ophthamalogist

Micah's first ophthamology appointment was today, and he did really good.  Of course the squirming and flailing was normal; this poor guy has never had his eyes dilated before!  While we were waiting for the drops to take effect, he, Annie and I had a lot of fun singing songs and dancing in the room (thank goodness it was big!)  20 minutes of preschool type activity was much needed.

We were happy with Dr. Rimmer, a pediatric specialist.  He was very nice and friendly to Micah and come to find out his grandfather is from Ukraine's big neighbor, Russia!  So we had a good chat about that :)

Prognosis: Strabismus and far-sightedness, a.k.a he needs glasses morning to night.  Neither were unexpected, and now we get to plan a day to go to Riverside to pick out his specialty glasses.  If the glasses don't help the cross in his eyes, then he'll wear a patch on the strong eye.  If that still doesn't work, then he'll have to have surgery.  The eye doctor seemed confident we wouldn't have to go that far since the strabismus is minor. 

Next: picture of Micah in glasses! :)

Regional Center

I don't really know where to post this, so I'm putting it here. It's more for my documentation, but if anyone has experience in these things, I'd be happy to hear :)

I applied for disability services for Micah through the Inland Regional Center when we came home in July (for things like therapies, assistance with IEPs in the school district, advice, vocational services when he's older, respite care, and housing services when he's older.. things he will need for life). I was told it would take up to 120 days to get a call/appointment. Last week they called, and he and I got to go to his intake appointment today. We met with a great social worker; she was very nice. Then she said that this was only step 1 of 3, and the other two appointments were really far out. The medical will be soon on 9/30, but his psychological evaluation isn't until December 14th!!! She said there is no doubt he'll be approved since he has Down syndrome, but they have to go through the paperwork steps.

I talked to her about the school district and how we are waiting for his first assessment with the school psychologist so they can determine what services he needs before he can be placed in preschool. The district is well within their 60 days to get things done, but I just wanted to know how things worked. She said to call them and ask if they'll do a speech/language evaluation to get him in school before they do the full psych. Since we are so close to the 60 days, I'll probably wait, but it was good advice. I wish I had known to ask that before, but not all school districts will do that. So I'll wait another week and then call them again. The good news is that the regional center might accept the district's psych evaluation, so that may help speed things up on their end. The social worker said they try to work hand-in-hand.

It seems to be taking forever. I know in the big scheme of life, a few months is not that long, but today was the first day I met with anyone "official" to get Micah any kind of services or help. It's been a little frustrating to wait. We got home July 6th, right in the middle of the summer, and I had to wait until August 1st when the school district staff got back from summer vacation. I filled out the application on August 1st and turned it in the next day. The sweet secretary said that the psychologists don't come back until the first day of school, and he would be placed "in order" in her workload. So nothing would even get started until August 11th... then she had 60 days from there to get something set up. Whew... it's a waiting game like everything else.

I just want our sweet boy to get the services he needs. He desperately needs speech and language therapy. There is NO doubt about that. I work with him, but he is still not speaking any words except "dada" and a muffled "hi". He understands us, but he does not speak. He will repeat ASL to me, up to about 10-15 signs, but he only initiates the "eat" sign :) (Yes, our son loves to eat). He also will "sing" (aka make noise) to every song he hears; he loves music. His hearing test showed that he hears well, so I know that is not the culprit. He also mimicks sounds, so I know he's capable of learning words. I would love a therapist to work with him and show us some things we can do at home to help him.

As far as physical and occupational therapy, I don't think he will need any of that. But we do need to work with him on dressing himself and potty training. All in time... I know that will come in time. Maybe someone can just give us some pointers. It's much different to teach life skills to an atypical child! There is really nothing the same about it. It's not harder, just different... and a little more focus :)

That is all for today!

First camping trip

Not only was this Micah's first camping trip, but it was his cousins' first trip too! We didn't know it until afterwards, but Zack and Tyler had never been camping.  If we had known, we would've tried to make it a lot more special.  In any case, they all had a great time and the other Ray boys even caught a fish with their dad!

Zack & Tyler, learning how to cast

Fischer teaching the boys how to cast.

We returned to Lake Hemet this year, and even got the same camping spot as last year! We left very excited for a fun weekend, but it was much harder than we expected. I even thought we were prepared for Micah's running, bringing the pack 'n play for the times we couldn't watch him like a hawk, but it sufficeth to say we were not prepared in the least. I felt like the world's worst mother at one point, put him in the pack 'n play, sat by his side, and didn't move for a very long time. I'll spare the details for fear of embarrassment and judgment.

I'm sure it's hard enough to have a child who's a runner.  But to have one who was also an orphan for three years adds to the dynamics.  For three years, he had the same schedule, the same routine, the same route he could walk, play, and wander.  For the past two months, he has been in several new situations that catch his eye to explore.  This campground proved to be his best footprint yet! 

It was a learning experience to say the least. When we'd lather the girls up with sunscreen and let them go, they stayed together in the playground next to our camp... they had the knowledge to stay near us as well. If I took my eyes off of them for a second, I didn't have to worry they'd wander. With Micah, he just doesn't know.  He was taught to stay with the pack he knew his whole life, but he's still learning who we are. He was taught to go in the same circle for three years, but this was a new place with no paths, just dirt! AND HE'S FAST!!!!!!!!!!

 

Our curious explorer.

 

Overall, it was the most difficult camping trip I've ever been on, even with three adults and a teenager to help watch over the flock of six littles. The littles had a lot more fun than we did. I left a night early with Chloe, Micah, and Annie.  The rest got to fish, make s'mores, and finish the weekend in style. I'm not looking forward to going back any time soon.  And that's just the plain truth.  We might even sell our tent trailer!

Hello world!

There haven't been many new things to report. Things have been good. School is in session for almost everyone. We are still waiting on assessments for Micah to start preschool, and just finally got a call today from the regional center to start assessments with the county! We are trying to get plugged into the local Down syndrome play group, the second meeting which is tonight. I am hoping we can go; we missed last month. Joey and his boys are still living with us for another month or so; things have been good with them... it's been loud and crowded, but we love having them around and will miss them when they're gone. We are getting ready to move to our new house in a couple weeks. Things are busy!

Fischer has his first public march with Serrano's Rattlesnake Regiment this Saturday at the Phelan Phamily Phun Days parade. I love to watch him march. Marching season is extremely stressful and takes over our life for 3 1/2 months, but it's so worth it. Their first football game is next Friday too, that's always fun! :)

Other than that, everything is the same... same is good. No news is good news!

Welcome Home Party for Micah

My mom and dad threw an amazing "welcome home" party for Micah at their home in Turlock on Saturday. We drove the 5 hour drive on Friday, stayed in a hotel, and got to their house at 10:30 on Saturday morning. Mom already had the tables up and decorated :) I helped Grandma Lois with the corn and bread, and boy did the kitchen get hot!

Most of my family were able to come, and a few of my closest friends. It was such a good time with great food, swimming, chatting, and lots of hugs. It was so hard to say goodbye to everyone. Here are some pictures, but I'm so bummed I didn't get any of my grandparents or my parents... I don't even think there's any of my sister because she was taking pictures with my camera! :/

We didn't get pictures of a lot of people that were there! Let's see... Mom & Dad, Adam, Amanda, Hailey & Emily Wallace, Sara & Brooke Ange, Grandpa & Grandma Barnard, Grandma Pat, Aunt Carole & Uncle Jack Harlan, Aunt Sandy Wallace & her friend Gordon, Marna Bynum, Rick & Chris Wallace, Sherrie Wallace, James, Caroline, Bernadette, Nathaniel, Atticus, Annaliese & Genevieve Bray, Claire, Addison & Aiden Souto, April & Charlie Dunham-Filson, and last but not least... Ethan, Colleen, Calista, Reese & Sophia Johnson. PLEASE FORGIVE ME if I forgot anyone! Aunt Brenda came to see us later in the day, and Bobby saw Micah the night before.


Shot of the pool area.


Gracie loves the water these days!



My brother, Adam, with his youngest daughter, Emily.



James, Genevieve, Caroline, and Claire... (just wish I could've taken a picture with those girls! They've been great friends FOREVER!) :) They were gone by the time I thought to take a picture with them.



Aunt Sherrie and my sister-in-law, Amanda. Where was Chuck?!



Adam's oldest daughter, Hailey, and Aunt Chris helping Annie to the pool.



Me pulling the train of girls :)



Me with Annie-bug.



Barry and I with some of the littles.



Me, Fischer, and Micah.



Me, Micah, and Chloe.



All 8 of the Wallace grandkids... Brooke, Fischer, Micah, Annie, Chloe, Hailey, Gracie, and Emily. Nana and Papa are sure lucky!