Ray Family

Ray Family

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Four months!

November 5, 2010 forever changed our hearts when we committed to adopting Micah, and July 6, 2011 forever changed our lives, as he was finally home with us! We could never have imagined what this little guy would really be like, but he has captured all of our hearts forever.

It's hard to believe that I de-boarded a 15 hour flight (17 hour total trip time) with Micah exactly four months ago today. We exited that last plane in Las Vegas, NV to our waiting family. I hadn't seen them in about two weeks, and it was very emotional to reunite with all of them. It was Fischer's, Gracie's, and Chloe's first time meeting Micah face-to-face. They had American flags waving and signs welcoming him home. We had just missed Independence Day two days prior, so it was our time to celebrate!

HOME. That is a word we use casually every day. To Micah, the only home he ever knew was the orphanage for the first three years of his life. He had never even been in a car (that he remembered). He had the same schedule every day, day in and day out. The same four walls of his "room" shared with over ten other children. Rotating nannies on rotating shifts. The music room each day. And the hut outside and surrounding walkways. But oh how he would run to those locked gates and shake them, as he would watch the cars go by.  I wondered what he was thinking. And I promised to let him out of those gates one day. May 27-July 1 we spent in Micah's original home.

May 27, 2011. Berizka Orphanage. Kyiv, Ukraine.
Now he's in our home. Forever! He has his own private room, adjacent to his sisters'. He has his own mommy and daddy for the first time in his life. He gets to ride in the car almost every day. He gets to feed himself and drink out of his own cup instead of being fed out of a community bowl and cup. He knows how to use a fork, spoon, and cup! He knows where his chair is at the table, and understands almost all the repeated daily commands. He uses some sign language, and he makes a lot of noise, especially when he's singing :) But he still does not use English words regularly. He tries, but they just don't come out clearly. We are almost at the point where he can go to the County Preschool and get speech therapy. Just a few more weeks is what we are told.

October 29, 2011. Wrightwood, CA
Yellow Canary Photography.
But having trouble communicating he does not have! :)  We know his sounds and body language. We know his routine, and vice versa. He is a joy! He loves hugs and kisses. He loves running, tagging, or tackling. He loves hide and seek and peek-a-boo. He is so much FUN. Laughing and giggling all day long.  He loves his sisters and brother, and even the dogs! He has so much energy it's unbelievable. And dare I not take my eyes off him or he'll be halfway to Timbuktu! :) He is learning safe boundaries and knows to hold my hand after getting out of the car now wherever we are. He listens when I say (or frantically yell), "STOP!" And the 2 1/2 acres we have for him to spread out and run is a gift from God.  He sleeps well at night (well we all do)!

Does he understand English? YES!!!! He understands almost everything we say now. And don't let him fool you when he stares blankly at you after you tell him something he does not want to hear! He'll have you thinking he doesn't understand, but after the fifth day in a row of far-away eyes when you tell him to get out of the bathtub (which is his favorite pasttime now), you get the drift that he's playing you ;) He's a smart cookie. Unbelievably smart. And he has come so far in such a short amount of time. He loves on his siblings and interacts well with them every day, and he knows them by name. "Give Chloe a kiss..." and he'll go to her. "Where's Fischer?" and he points. Annie still thinks she's his favorite though ;) Once he starts speaking, it will be all over!

Attachment issues? You know, honestly, we never even gave this a second thought. We heard a lot about attachment disorders and issues in kids who were orphans. We were warned about doing things a certain way. But in our big family, we have activities every day where we have to go, go, go. We never had down time to just relax and adjust. But our bonding happened nonetheless. He knows we are his mama and daddy, and he looks for us. He follows us everywhere at home. He knows his sisters and brother. And he has even bonded with his uncle who has lived with us for the past few months. He will go to people and give them hugs, but there are times when he only wants us. And his familiarity with us is obvious. He prefers us, he smiles bigger with us, etc. We just didn't really give the attachment issue any power over how we do things in our family, because it would have consumed us. We treated him like all our other kids right off the bat, and he has adjusted like he's been with us since the beginning.  It's not to say he doesn't have meltdowns when the day has been too long, but what three year old doesn't?  There are days he'll just sit and cry and we don't know why, but he lets us console him. And he looks for us to do that! If he falls, he comes looking for me or Barry right away and stops crying instantly when we pick him up. He is so very comfortable in his life with us. Maybe we are one of the lucky ones, but I still say that he was predestined to be in our family, and I think even he knew it, as we had asked and prayed for.  Call me crazy, but I believe our great big God can do anything, even over continents. And I also think He has power over the families who adopt to choose the child(ren) that were meant for them and their situations!

Micah. October 29, 2011.
Yellow Canary Photography.
A couple weeks ago, I was so blessed to get a baby picture of Micah from my friend, Sherry White, who was with me at end of my stay in Ukraine. It made me smile, and it made me sad. I was sad because I don't have pictures of him like I do my other kids. There are three years of his life that are just missing. We don't have the pictures, we don't have the background, and we don't have the memories, bonding, or time! It has made me think a lot of his past. When I go to cuddle with him and he doesn't know how to form into my body and just is kind of stiff in the hold, it saddens me. It saddens me that I didn't get to rock him like my babies. He loves it when I hold him and rock him, but he just doesn't mold into me like my original four did and still do. I wonder if that will ever change. I hope so. He's a very affectionate little boy, full of life and wonder. He loves to be loved on each day. And he gets plenty of it!

We are so lucky and blessed. I know some say he is the lucky one, but I think it is us who is far more fortunate to be gifted by one of God's chosen sons. A son of God. Little Micah. What a miracle to go through this journey with and for him. Who would have thought we would travel across the world one day to adopt a little boy? But we did! And here we all are now: HOME! :)

Unbelievable! :) Gives me chills to look back at just six months ago in his country. We loved it there, and while it was hard in the moment, we miss it so much. It is great to watch the new families going to get their babies after us. We pray for them all. For safe journeys, for successful court dates, for bonding with their babies, for protection and love from our Savior in heaven, and for going HOME as a family :)

2 comments:

emmyray said...

I love Micah so much! I love how he fits into your family and I love how loving and curious and happy he is. We were all blessed when he became a member of the family and I thank our Heavenly Father that you found him.He makes me smile so much. The only thing that makes me sad is when you say he cries and wants to be comforted.It hurts my heart so much to think that this boy spent the first 3 years of his life the way he did. I know he was in one of the "better" orphanages but it does not possibly make up for the lonliness he had to feel. Please hug him for me.

Beth said...

Shelly!!! What an awesome post! Micah is beautiful and he is right where he was meant to be! It's all becoming so real for us now. I can't wait to be in Olivia's country and walk in your footsteps, (literally).... There is a definite fire lit under my rear end now that I have seen pictures and that video of my baby girl:) Thank you for your prayers and give that sweet boy a hug and kiss for me.