School (again)

I know, I know. I've been on a writing binge the past couple days. There is so much I have to write about, and I still haven't even started my Christmas day blog. I love writing; I always have and probably always will. I have never been one to be short on words, so this helps me get it all out without driving Barry or my friends totally crazy :) If you are reading this, apparently you don't mind my long posts ;)

So school...

It seems like I have been going forever. Well, really I have. College has been off and on since 1995, mostly off until 2008. My first college class as an adult was in the Summer of 2008. I have changed my plans on what degree to obtain about four times since then. After talking to my academic advisor yesterday and deciding which classes to take next, I evaluated my degree plan and realized I AM ALMOST DONE!!! That gave me a huge boost to keep going.

I love learning, but sometimes I really hate school. It takes time away from my family, and as much as I want to reach my lifelong goal, I think sometimes, "Why am I doing this? I most likely will never use it." I often want to quit just because it is such a pain sometimes. Then I remind myself that it is a privilege to be able to go at all, and it will be a huge accomplishment when I am finished. And I may have to fall back on it someday, so I'm setting myself up for success if that happens.

Since 2008, my degree plans have gone from Nursing to Psychology to CJ w/emphasis in Forensic Psychology to CJ w/emphasis in CSI, and now just Criminal Justice with no emphasis. The last one was a computer error when they revamped the degree plan online and they left off my emphasis. However, I am leaving it alone because I really don't want to take some of the classes that were required for CSI; I just hadn't changed it because there had already been too many changes.

Now I am planning out the next year. I only have 10 classes left, and I should be graduating in April 2013 if I take 1-2 classes per term like I have been. It is surreal to be saying that. I only have two major requirements left and the rest are electives. The classes are really hard sometimes, and online learning is NOT the easy way out like some people think. I've done both traditional and online, and there are times when online is much harder. Not the physical part of getting to and from school, finding parking spaces, finding child care, etc. But the learning part can be tough. There is a lot required, and because the terms are only 10 weeks we are packing a lot of material into a shorter amount of time. I don't consider it cramming, but it can put a toll on the study times and workloads for sure.

I am SO BLESSED to have a husband who supports me in school. He helps with the kids when I need to get away and lock my door. He doesn't complain and is so encouraging. And in the end, he'll be paying for it when the student loans kick in, so I better be grateful :) When I have been at my low moments and wanting to quit, he keeps me going and tells me it will all be worth it someday. And other things like, "You've come this far. Quitting now will make all that hard work worth nothing." It's true. Thank you, Barry!

Girl Scouts

When I was little (I think maybe 5), I went to some Brownie meetings with a neighbor friend; at least that's what I remember.

I spent Fischer's youth taking him to all the Boy Scout meetings I could... it was so much fun. My dad helped him make his wooden cars, he had his uniform and earned patches, all the fun stuff. I love Scouts! I was sad when he didn't want to do it anymore as he became a teenager. I laugh and say sometimes I wish I was a boy so I could do all that fun!!! The leaders get to have fun too... going on camping and hiking trips, high adventure fun, etc. But alas, I'm a girl.

...

Gracie is 6 and in Kindergarten, and she desperately needed something to do. She is so against change of any kind, is super shy in new situations, and will flat out refuse to do things even after we sign her up. Every kid is different, but she's in left field. I love my daughter immensely, but none of the other kids do anything like what she does. We tried dance. We tried soccer. We tried gymnastics. I just kind of gave up on her doing anything extra-curricular. So when she asked about Girl Scouts, I was skeptical but optimistic at the same time. "PLEASE LORD!"

Her first meeting was last night, and she shut down in typical Gracie style. The leader asked her what her name was and she put her head down and wouldn't answer any questions. Great. Just as suspected. But a funny thing happened: the leader started playing "getting to know you" games and icebreakers. She wouldn't do the pass-the-ball-and-tell-me-your-name-and-something-you're-good-at game. But when they stood up in their circle and connected hands and put a hula-hoop on their arms, then tried to move it over one person to the next without it touching the ground, she started busting a gut. OMGOSH... amazing! :) She was laughing so hard when one of the leaders got stuck and couldn't move her legs through the hula-hoop and move it over her body. (The hula hoops were kid size!) :)

She participated with excitement, but as I watched her, a lightbulb went off in my head about my sweet Gracie. Her poor face was filled with so much anxiety over who was watching her and if she did good enough. I could almost see her heart beating. And I saw the "I'm gonna run away and cry in a minute" look. I prayed, "No, please let her finish and be happy and move on." She worries what people think. She doesn't like being in the spotlight. She laughs at others' funny moments, but doesn't want anyone laughing at her. She wants to be accepted and doesn't handle rejection well, so she just refuses to do anything that might create that opportunity. Kinda like stage fright, but with everything in life. I almost sobbed. I finally get her after 6 years. She is strong-willed, and she is stubborn. But she's also afraid, to the point where it paralyzes her sometimes. Big Mommy moment.

I pretended to be busy with the other moms, and even got to be for a few minutes, so she didn't know I was watching her. She moved from beginning activities to group activities with the Daisies and she warmed right up to the girls and the leader. She loved doing the activity (making willow tree plants), and listened to the girl who was reading out of their book out loud. She was running, laughing, and playing and so very happy. When it was time to go an hour and a half later, she cried because she didn't want to go. She wanted to stay! So I reassured her we'd be back at the next meeting in two weeks, and that we'd get all her uniform gear and books before then.

On the way to the car, she told me about their "Goodnight Girl Scouts" handshake and then showed it to me and Barry when we got home. She was filled with so much excitement.

I am so glad she likes it. I am so glad she wants to go back. And I'm so glad she broke out of her shell after only about 5 minutes. That is the Gracie we all know all the time :)

My daughter is a Girl Scout! YIPPEE... now we can do fun things too... even if we're girls ;)

Walker? Jogger? Runner?

I am by no means a fast runner. I ran a 12 min mile in high school and that was pushing it. I hated running. With a passion.

After I turned 30, I got a wild hair to run a half marathon. Me. Yup, crazy. This was right after Chloe was born in 2007, and then of course we had Annie in 2009. Finally, in March 2010, I started training for my first half marathon. When I started, I was lucky to jog/walk a mile in 17-18 minutes. By July 2010, I was running up to 7 miles (non...stop!) and could run a 12 min mile again! I felt great! Only two months until my half.

Then I fell down my stairs. My wooden stairs. Go ahead and laugh, but I bruised my tailbone so badly that my chiropractor said to rest for 3-4 weeks. Do you know what that does to a trainer's schedule? That was equivalent to about 60 miles. It was catastrophic. I could have picked up and taken it slow. I could have walk/jogged my half marathon instead of running the whole thing. But you know what I did?

I gave up. I didn't go. I didn't even try. I stopped running. I stopped walking. I gained weight (a lot). I was hard on myself, down and depressed. But I had excuses! I hurt myself. I was going to be traveling for the summer. Blah, blah, blah.

In December 2011 (right before Christmas) I had had it. Forget this mess! Get up and do something about it! Quit whining!

My first walk/jog in December was 16 minutes. Yesterday, my run/super fast walk mile was 14 minutes. Already. In less than a month. That is hecka cool. Think I can cut off another 2 minutes? You betcha! And more? I'll try! Training for a half marathon again? Some day. Sore today? You know it!

Go out there and capture your dreams!!

First tooth!

I am a HORRIBLE mom, well at least a horrible blogger. I cannot believe I didn't blog this when it happened.

As most of you know, Gracie has been missing her top two front teeth since she was 2 1/2 (she ran into a door and one popped out, then the other turned black and fell out a few months later). We got used to the toothless smile over time and didn't even really notice it anymore. I often wonder what she will look like when she gets those teeth back since it's been 3 1/2 years :)

One our way back from getting Fischer in Bakersfield on December 21st, about a week after Gracie had been complaining about a loose bottom tooth, that sucker popped right out when she accidentally nudged it with her knee. We were on Hwy 58 East of Mojave, but nowhere near anything. She was bleeding and screaming in true Gracie style. Luckily a truck stop was coming up and we were able to stop and take care of the dire emergency. People were looking at me holding this almost-6-yr-old, while she was screaming uncontrollably and blood was barely seeping from her mouth, like I hit her or something. I smiled and explained she lost a tooth. Like they care. Like I'll ever see them again.

Within a few minutes, okay more like 20, and after talking to her dear Daddy, she finally calmed down. We put the tooth in the tooth fairy pillow Nana made her, and she got a WHOPPING $1!!! When did the tooth fairy give raises? I liked the 25 cent idea myself. But all the tooth fairy had was $1 apparently (so I was told).

So, she officially "LOST" her first tooth! Right before her 6th birthday. And then I remembered, she cut her first two teeth the day before her 1st birthday. That was fun too (being sarcastic if you can't tell).

6 months!

As you can see, I still have yet to post the Christmas Day blog, but I just realized I also failed to blog that Micah has been home SIX months (on January 6). I wasn't sure whether to celebrate from his adoption date (June 21) or from the day we came back to U.S. soil and into our home (July 6). And gotcha day wasn't until July 1st I think... anyway, he's been "home" with our family since July 6, 2011. Happy half-"birthday" little man! Sorry mama's so far behind.